BIOGRAPHY

gabriela grew up just outside of chicago as a part of a big family. her immediate family consisted of her father ramon, her mother camila, and her older brother antonio. however, there always seemed to be relatives around throughout their childhoods. gabby loved the feeling of being apart of a large family, and she has inadvertently looked for that throughout her life.gabby was always a caring person, but it was her passion that really made her shine. whatever she did, she threw herself into it, often head first. gabby was far from perfect. but when someone told her she couldn't do something? well, that just made her want to prove them wrong. anyone telling her she couldn’t made her want to do it even more.but above all, gabby lived to help people. before she even realized what she wanted to do, there were hints that she wanted to save people. even as a kid, gabby would use her toys to act out scenes and scenarios where she could come in to save the day. there was a certain rush, being the hero, but there was even more of an overwhelming feeling having saved someone. even if it only was her mr. potato head.gabby was smart, but she didn’t feel like school was the best fit for her. she would rather get to work instead of sitting in a classroom. after considering a coupe potential options for her future, gabby decided on becoming a paramedic. it combined everything she was looking for--the fast-paced environment, the ability to help people, and her very own community of people to lean on and learn from.

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trigger warnings: abandonment, abortion, mentions of alcohol and drug use, religionyou don’t get to choose your family. no one knew this better than emily elizabeth prentiss. born into the prentiss family one october evening, emily was the child of elizabeth and richard prentiss. elizabeth was a very proud and ambitious woman. in many ways, emily’s mother had a regalness to her. untouchable and always just out of reach. her father, richard prentiss, could not have been more opposite.richard and elizabeth had met at their parents arrangement. both came from families with status and wealth. it seemed like a natural arrangement in everyone’s eyes—everyone except richard. the arrangement was nothing less than strategy, and richard was hesitant to the idea. he wasn’t sure he was ready to give up on love, the opportunity to spend a real life with someone. elizabeth could see the doubt in his eyes from the moment they met. it was up to her to convince him.and that she did. she told richard of the partnership they would have. they would support each other as they spent their lives together. they could please their families and themselves. although he was still hesitant, elizabeth’s words made him feel more secure in the whole idea. he even thought he was beginning to like her. an arranged marriage might not be the worst thing to happen to him.it didn’t take long for him to regret his decision. a few years after they wed, elizabeth was absolutely entrenched in her career. her ambition and drive overshadowed just about everything else in their lives. richard’s frustration grew as their lives began to feel less livable. he made his discontent known to elizabeth, though she found herself confused by his dissatisfaction. they had everything — money, privilege, power, influence. her status was rising, and his would follow. this is what they were supposed to do. what was preventing him from seeing all of that? richard reached a breaking point one evening after an event. he went to elizabeth, telling her he wanted out of their arrangement. she told him she was pregnant. and so, he stayed.when emily was born, they were both engaged at first. they both believed that perhaps their daughter would be enough to salvage their marriage. but even that faded as more of her birthdays came and went. richard had been drinking more and more, finding himself locked away in his study for hours every night. when he wasn’t there, he was out, often with little explanation. young emily would always try to get close to her parents, but there was always something that stood in the way, whether it be work or resentment.eventually, what elizabeth had always feared came to light. richard had been having an affair with a younger woman. he was in love with her, and he was leaving elizabeth. he had given her the best years of his life and she had destroyed each one. emily was there the day he left, suitcase in hand as the rain came down. she tried to follow him, to hold on to him, but he detached himself from her, got in his car, and left.after that, elizabeth continued throwing herself into her career. emily lacked stability with their constant moves. they would travel from place to place with elizabeth’s postings. having risen to the position of ambassador, her work became more important to her than ever. emily continued to grow up in the cold world of politics. she had access to the best schools and tutors. she was smart beyond her years, quick to learn new languages or read literature above her grade level. there were parts of it she didn’t hate. she liked having knowledge. it made her feel powerful. but she was also facing intense loneliness.emily was 15 when they moved to italy. she had spent much of her life trying so hard to make friends, only to have them ripped away from her with another move. something about italy felt different, though. she met matthew benton, a boy around her age. he was sweet and gentle. it didn’t take long for emily to care for him. it didn’t feel romantic, nor did she feel any pressure when she was around him. she could be herself, something she hadn’t felt for a long time. matthew was the one who introduced her to john cooley. john and matthew were two friends that couldn’t have been more different. where matthew was shy, john was outgoing. where matthew was sweet, john was...not so much. emily didn’t like john at first, feeling that he was arrogant and pushy. but after hanging out with both him and matthew a few times, she warmed up to him a bit.one night, the three went to a party thrown at the house of some rich kid’s parents. emily often used matthew as a shield at these parties, not wanting to be left alone for long. there was nothing worse than being left alone with some drunk, entitled, rich kid who had never learned the meaning of the word ‘no.’ this particular evening, though, matthew had to leave early. emily felt less secure with matthew gone, but john didn’t let her worry for long. he offered to hang out with her, and the two spent the rest of the night drinking and sharing stories. john was an ass most of the time, but he still managed to make emily laugh. she wasn’t sure if it was that or the alcohol that made her not pull away when he kissed her. she didn’t know what she wanted in those moments, but she didn’t stop him.some time passed after emily and john had slept together, and they didn’t talk about it much. john admitted that he liked emily, but wasn’t looking for “anything serious at the moment.” emily wasn’t naive enough to think that john would do anything different. she was prepared for it, even though it stung a bit. what hurt worse, though, was what came after. when emily discovered she was pregnant, she ran to matthew’s place in the pouring rain. she didn’t know what to do. she was shaking and crying. emily was insistent that her mother could never know. the mere thought made her want to vomit. matthew didn’t know how to help her. he suggested that she talk with their priest, thinking he could provide guidance, but he only provided more judgment and shame.matthew was furious, and he did everything he could to find a doctor that would give emily an abortion. he drove her, stayed with her, and held her hand through it all. and then he held her hand in church that sunday, walking her to the front pew with her head held high. no one had ever been there for emily like matthew had. he made her feel like she was worthy—worthy of love and friendship. it broke her heart to think that she had been the beginning of matthew’s downward spiral. matthew began taking drugs and questioning his faith. his parents blamed emily, telling the ambassador to keep her away from their son.emily and her mother moved again, elizabeth not sparing emily any of her ridicule and critique. she didn’t know the full story, but emily couldn’t tell her. she knew, deep down, that she wouldn’t find someone like matthew again. that made her feel the crushing weight of loneliness more than ever. for the remainder of her teen years, emily rebelled at every turn. she went to a lot of parties, drank alcohol, experimented with drugs. she became the wild child that the bentons had accused her of being. elizabeth was constantly letting emily know of her disappointment. but emily didn’t care. although elizabeth loved emily in her own way, emily knew that she would never really feel that love. so she stopped trying to earn it.emily attended chesapeake bay university, then yale, working as a waitress to pretend she was providing for herself. people thought of her as a paradox. in the classroom, she was capable, always excelling. outside of it, she was nothing short of a mess. she had her fill of crappy relationships, most existing in a cycle of on-again-off-again. none of the people she ended up with were very good for her. she partied like the other girls with trust funds did, although she knew she wasn’t like them. she could never be satisfied by all of it the way they could. she needed more. needed purpose.emily bounced around government jobs trying to find the right fit. she hated the way people would say “oh, you’re ambassador prentiss’s daughter.” as if they had finally figured out how she got through the front door. she wanted to make it on her own merits. she would never allow her mother to open a door for her. not a single one. she proved to be an impressive asset, and she started to gain the attention of higher ups. eventually, emily was recruited for an undercover operation targeting an arms dealer known as “valhalla.” and thus began the relationship between lauren reynolds and ian doyle.lines were crossed. emily knew that. she got close to ian in more ways than one, and she didn’t anticipate how hard it would be to disentangle herself from him. when the mission was over, returning to real life was a challenge. she had done everything she could to protect declan doyle from his father, but there remained a bitter taste in her mouth. she wanted something more black and white. something where she knew the bad guys from the good guys. her profiling experience made her look into the bau. on paper, they wouldn’t know of her undercover work, but emily preferred it that way. they would come to learn that she was an asset, just like other had before them. she was sure she could get them to warm up to her. she just didn’t count on how much she would warm up to them. the bau was her first time being a part of a family, and once she had it, it was hard to imagine ever being without it again.

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trigger warnings: adultery, abortioncoming soon.

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trigger warnings: domestic violence, abuse, abortionJOSEPHINE ALICE WILSON, born brooke hale, inherited a complicated life at a very young age. at only five days old, jo was left outside of a fire station with nothing but the blanket she was wrapped in. no one claimed her. no parents, birth or adopted, came to her aide. there was no forever family waiting in the wings. so, jo was entered in to the system. thus began a life of being moved around from foster home to foster home. the foster homes varied in their quality, but for the most part, they were generally AWFUL.jo continued to live in foster homes that were so bad, she decided that living in her car would be easier. at the age of 16, that was exactly what she did. jo began to live out of her car, driving it to her high school in the early mornings to take advantage of the facilities. her high school teacher, ms. schmidt, would let her into the school building early to use the showers and do her laundry. ms. schmidt became a mentor and a friend. truthfully, ms. Schmidt was the only person in the world jo felt like actually cared about her.despite the difficulty that came with living in her car, jo worked her ass off all throughout high school. her free time was mostly dedicated to ensuring her SURVIVAL, but she was still human. something even jo often forgot to account for. when she was still in high school, jo met CHRIS CLEAVER after he paid a tow trucker driver to prevent her car from being towed away. the two started to see each other casually, chris not minding that jo lived in her car. eventually, chris asked jo to meet his parents and move with him to college. she initially agreed, but jo just could not pull the trigger. she ended up taking off right before she was supposed to meet chris, never looking back. jo eventually graduated from high school at the top of her class, serving as valedictorian. ms. schmidt was the only one that was there to see her graduate and cheer her on.following high school, jo went on to attend princeton university in new jersey. at princeton is where she met ATTICUS 'LINK' LINCOLN. the two worked together at a local restaurant—jimmy's crab shack. jo and link quickly became pals, eventually becoming the best of friends. without a family of her own, jo often infiltrated the lincolns, spending holidays and birthdays wherever link was, which was often with the rest of his tribe.jo graduated cum laude from princeton with a defined career path. she was going to become a doctor, come hell or high water. jo went on to attend the, rather impressive, harvard medical school. it was around this time that jo met PAUL STADLER. paul was charming, intelligent, and extremely kind in the beginning. jo took to him quickly, and the two fell deeply in love with each other. at the same time, distance began to grow between jo and link. it wasn't purposeful on her part. at least, not at first. paul always cared about who jo did and didn't hang out with. without her even knowing it, he slowly began to isolate her from the few people she had in her life. paul's jealousy eventually caused her relationship with link to fracture.now that she was alone, paul became the closest person in her life. jo and paul got married rather quickly. she hadn't even finished medical school by the time the two were walking down the aisle. at first, jo really thought her marriage would work. she loved paul and more imporantly, he loved her. something she had searched for her entire life. but love soon transformed into rage and toxicity.paul's behavior began to turn. it took the littlest things to set him off. one evening, the two were at a dinner party, and another man at their table made a joke. jo laughed. paul was so convinced this small gesture was jo's way of flirting with the man. later that evening, paul kicked her. the kick was so hard he almost ruptured her kidney. things were never the same after that. the abuse would happen on and off, in big and little ways. it would often be followed by apologies or false promises, but paul grew colder and colder as their marriage continued. there was another time that paul found emails jo had exchanged with another man, completely innocent emails. he beat her face in response. during another incident, paul cracked her ribes and threw her across the living room floor. what paul didn't know, at the time, was that jo had discovered she was 7 weeks pregnant. soon after, jo made the decision to have an abortion. she knew she could not raise a child with him, even if she had not yet found the strength to leave him.the pregnancy was a turning point for jo. she knew paul would never change. he couldn't. it would only ever get worse. jo vowed that if she could manage to get away from him, she would never let anyone lay a hand on her ever again. one day soon after she graduated from medical school, paul left for a business trip. jo didn't wait more than an hour before she had a packed bag in the backseat of her car. she didn't know where she was going, but she knew she couldn't stay there. divorce wasn't an option. she wasn't sure how much longer she could survive living under him. jo drove away leaving boston, and brooke stadler, behind. her name became jo wilson and her new life began.

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trigger warnings: death, cancervictoria davis was born to marcus and colleen davis in tacoma, washington. she was the younger sister of abigail davis (later known as abigail hayes). abigail was about seven years older than victoria, which set them up for an interesting relationship from the start.the girls’ parents had a great experience raising abigail. she was easy-going, self-sufficient, kind, energetic, beautiful, and intelligent. she was everything you could hope for from a first child. the dawsons thought abigail deserved a sibling to go through life with, so they began trying for a second child. it took a few years, but eventually, along came victoria, and she was far from what they bargained for.growing up, abigail was constantly looking over victoria, being kinder and more accommodating than might be typical of a big sister. but victoria needed it. from the beginning, victoria had a clearly adventurous soul, and it made her parents and sister constantly fearful.victoria was the type of kid to be at the playground and jump off the top of the slide instead of going down it. she would reach out to touch the flame on a candle just to see what it felt like. and that was the kind of spirit that drove her life. she always wanted to see what it felt like. it drove abigail insane, and she constantly joked about wrapping victoria up in bubble wrap and a helmet for the rest of her life. that probably would have done her some good.although victoria loved abigail, she always wished abigail didn’t always have to be so perfect. everyone commented on it, including their parents. they would ask vic ‘why don’t you try being more like your sister?’ just once, she wanted abigail to be the one to screw up or do something reckless, but that day never seemed to come. even as they grew up and abigail went off to school, she only seemed to climb higher and higher up on her pedestal. at least, through vic’s eyes.— AND SO THE STORY GOES
it wasn’t until college that vic really found the freedom she had always longed for. she specifically looked for a school far away from home, opting to attend university of north carolina just to put some space between her and her overbearing family. her freshman year, vic really took that opportunity to try new things, which meant she was in and out of the student conduct office within her first year. but she just saw it as she always did--having fun, living a little, and trying new things.throughout college, abigail always made an effort to reach out and keep in touch with her sister, despite the fact that victoria was extremely inconsistent in returning her calls and outreach. abigail had been developing this entirely different life, falling and love with cormac hayes and having a couple of children. vic wanted to be apart of their life more, and abigail always kept the door open, but she always struggled with feeling like her “crazy little sister.” enrolling in medical school was seen by some as an attempt to one-up abigail, but vic just wanted to prove there was more to her. it wasn’t until she found out abigail got sick that the floor dropped out from under her.her sister’s illness hit vic hard. seeing the cancer slowly eat away at her made victoria feel like it was eating away at her too. she was constantly angry, at cormac, at the cancer, even at abigail. it wasn’t fair, but she didn’t know how to process it. even though there was resentment there, victoria loved abigail with all of her heart and soul. abigail was her protector. her guardian. everything good about victoria was because of abigail’s influence. losing her was the most devastated she had ever felt.the time after abigail’s death was hard. vic moved home, but even being around her family was difficult. her parents were never the same. there was this huge hole in their lives, and it was one victoria knew she could never fill. she also found it hard to look at her brother-in-law afterwards. being a doctor, victoria secretly resented him for not being able to save her. he should have been able to protect abigail from it all. but really, victoria hated herself the most. when her nephews moved to seattle with cormac, vic vowed that she would be a part of their lives, however hard it might be.victoria stayed in seattle following her sister's death, eventually getting a job as an intern at grey sloan memorial (/sgmw) hospital. she still struggles with her sister's death, in addition to trying to figure out who she is when not living in her shadow.

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ALEXANDRA GRACE CABOT is the eldest daughter of the cabot family. alexandra, primarily called alex by her friends, was born into a family of wealthy socialities. her father, charles, was a successful entrepreneur and real estate mogul, while her mother lucille was the heir to the Snyder family’s businesses. combined, charles and lucille were a powerful duo, and they had the picture perfect family at the forefront of both of their minds. because of this, they expected a lot from both of their children, benjamin and alexandra.both the cabot children knew the pressure that was on them from a very young age. their parents were very concerned about image, and therefore, their lives had to be picture-perfect at all times. but, as we know, nobody’s perfect. alex and ben constantly failed to meet their parents unfair expectations, but that didn’t stop them from trying. alex had a leg up. she was gifted. almost everything she did, she excelled at. sports, academics…it was all the same. alex pushed herself, and she saw results. with every medal, every honor-roll appointment, every national accommodation, alex secretly thought it would be the time she won the praise of her parents. unfortunately, she never really saw that day come. charles and lucille weren’t the loving, supportive parents alex always wished they were. they were cold and withholding. wanting from them only ended in disappointment.alex grew up in a life of privilege, one she absolutely benefitted from. she wasn’t interested, though, in following in the footsteps of her parents. she didn’t want the life she saw slowly corroding them (and their livers). alex wanted to do something that mattered. to her, that meant she had to go high.when alex got into columbia university, she made the decision to study political science. her parents would have preferred something business related, but alex had her sights set on law school. alex’s intelligence carried her through undergrad, and she was lucky enough to be admitted to harvard law. it was there that alex first really felt challenged. she was good, but she wasn’t the best. not naturally. alex had to work at it. she was the student challenging her professors, even burning a couple of bridges along the way. but she couldn’t help it. it was a problem with alex. if it was something she felt passionate about, she couldn’t sit back and keep her mouth shut (as much as maybe some wanted her to).it was her tenacity that caught the eye of a ta, trevor. trevor and alex hit it off in the beginning. it was easy with trevor. there was no pressure. alex could focus on her work and studies without worrying that her relationship would become overbearing. before she realized it, her and trevor had been together for almost three years. just as alex was about to graduate, he proposed to her. it would have been perfect — trevor came from a nice family. the type that would be acceptable to the cabots. they were the picture perfect couple. yet the minute trevor got down on one knee, alex knew she couldn’t do it. she hated breaking his heart the way that she did. alex knew she couldn’t stay there, so she accepted a job in the district attorney’s office.alex was seen as a rising star. her conviction rate as a prosecutor proved her competence as an ada. she began to catch the attention of higher-ups in the area, getting assigned to more high profile cases. sure, she wasn’t always first chair, but she was getting the experience a lot quicker than some of the other younger adas. as much as her skill in the courtroom spoke for itself, alex still wasn’t afraid to push back and question, to the dismay of many judges on the circuit. she had immense respect for the law, but working cases with real victims made her start to question certain aspects of the system. and so, her time in the courtroom became less about playing by the book and more about using the law to her advantage. all in the name of justice. but she’s not known as a rule breaker. most still see her as rigid or untrustworthy. she’s not sure what perpetuates that more — her law degree or the cabot family name.

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for now - https://lawandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Amanda_Rollins

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maybe eventually i'll write something, but you know who she is.

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trigger warnings: drug abuse, alcoholism, addiction, neglectVANESSA JANE BLOOM, daughter of jeanine "jeanie" and daniel "danny" bloom, was born on a cold night in manhattan on october 26th. her older sister, lauren, was just 5 years old at the time.growing up in the bloom family was not as delightful as it may have looked from the outside. their upper east side lifestyle, a biproduct of danny's successful dermatology practice, didn't make for a very cozy home life. jeanie was an a raging alcoholic, while danny was an absent workaholic. a perfect match.jeanie had always been a mess, at least that's how her children remember it. hurricane jeanie, as they would come to call her, was a certified drunk. alcohol flowed in excess around their home, and the parties seemed neverending. with their father largely absent for a lot of their childhood, responsibility fell to the bloom children — mainly, lauren. lauren would go to great lengths to try and contain jeanie's drinking, but her efforts proved futile. in the end, it was lauren who was always left to clean up the mess...and their mother.lauren did a good job of protecting vanessa from the realities of their mother's alcoholism. she was allowed to be exactly what she was – a kid.but ultimately, there were things in their life that lauren couldn't protect her from.vanessa was a needy child, always asking for comfort or reassurance. jeanie was practically useless when it came to these things. vanessa would beg for affection to the point of tears, but jeanie rarely was able to give her what she needed. the more jeanie drank, the meaner she got, which pushed vanessa further and further from her mother. lauren became the one she ran to, crawling into her bed during a storm or asking her to double check that there wasn't a monster in her closet. she leaned on her sister, but more than that, she thought the absolute world of her. lauren was her rock. lauren was everything vanessa wanted to be when she grew up.their father died when vanessa was 11, and she took it hard even though she did not feel particularly close with her father.it was confusing, losing a parent that was never really there for you. but lauren was devastated, so vanessa figured she should be too. things at home got particularly hard after that. jeanie was drinking more, sometimes with pills on top of it, and vanessa was getting older. she started to notice the ways people would whisper when her mother entered a room. the judgmental looks when she stumbled out of a restaurant. lauren always took the lead when it came to jeaenie, so vanessa tried a different route. if she showed her mother how much she loved her, maybe it would help jeanie stop. it never did.vanessa noticed a change in lauren about a year after their father had passed. she was quieter when vanessa would talk about the future, hesitant when the subject of graduation or nyu came up. one late summer night, lauren came upstairs to tuck vanessa into bed, as she often had for the last 12 years of her life. lauren kissed her sister's forehead, shut the light, and closed the door. when vanessa woke up the next morning, the house was empty (sans jeanie passed out in her room). she waited all day for lauren to come home, but she never did. it was evening by the time vanessa found the note. lauren had left for college in washington, not new york. lauren was gone.the years after lauren left for college were the most damaging. jeanie proceeded to get worse, as if anyone thought that was possible. she seemed to reach new levels of intoxication, and with that, belligerence too. it was just the two of them now. vanessa felt trapped inside of their home with no way out. with lauren gone, taking care of jeanie fell to her, except vanessa wasn't nearly as good at it as lauren was. during the day she'd attend middle school and at night, she'd pick her mother up off the floor. hold her hair as she vomited. try not to cry as her mother pushed her away, shouting for lauren or danny. with all of it, vanessa did the only thing she could. she tried to love her mother.as things progresed, vanessa grew angrier with her situation. she stopped writing as much to lauren, finding it hard to keep up with the lies she told her sister. things weren't that bad. except they were. vanessa was tired of picking up after jeanie, of her mother being her full-time job. she didn't have the same strength that lauren had. she was 13 when she started going to high school paries. at first, she was so turned off to the thought of drinking. she refused to be like her mother. but then there was that first sip. and then another. and then, suddenly, she was drunk. it was like her mind was finally free. much to her surprise, it was actually kind of fun, despite the hangover that followed.vanessa started staying out late, joining friends for weekend trips to their parents vacant vacation homes in the hamptons or skipping school for a bender. not that there was anyone to notice that she was gone. vanessa moved on to drugs pretty quickly. the crowd of spoiled rich kids she hung out with had no trouble getting their hands on a wide array of things. in the rare times she was sober, she found it hard to get through the day.at her high school prom's after party, vanessa took ecstacy for the first time with her then boyfriend. on top of the alcohol they had already consumed, vanessa felt the best she had ever felt. everything felt vibrant and free. the party never seemed to end. that was until she crashed, literally. at some point during the night, she and her boyfriend had decided to steal a police cruiser from outside the liquor store they had stopped at. they barely made it a few yards before they crashed through the side of a convenience store. they were both arrested and detained, but being rich kids from the upper east side, they were sent to rehab instead of jail.vanessa spent 60 days in a rehab facility upstate, hating almost every second of it. she wasn't ready to get sober. in fact, she wasn't sure she ever would be. using was what made her life a life. when she returned home after her release, she found jeanie in their living room, a martini in hand. jeanie didn't even realize that she had been gone for two months. she immediately made her daughter a drink, deciding it was the perfect time to 'celebrate' vanessa's high school graduation. twenty minutes with jeanie, and vanessa's sobriety was out the window. she finished off the martini and flipped her na chips into the trash.life resumed for vanessa, this time with more freedom now that she was out of school. college was never something she considered. she had everything she needed. a group of self-obsessed, coked-up friends; access to her mother's credit cards; and a steady stream of parties and club openings to go to. it was during this time that vanessa's addiction really started to take shape. blackouts became a regular occurrence, as did insane sex. vanessa felt ALIVE. anyone who tried to stop her could fuck off.lauren became more aware of her sister's lifestyle as vanessa entered her 20s. she sent vanessa back to rehab for a second time, and vanessa grew increasingly bitter. she tried to maintain her relationship with her sister, but the hurt inside her grew everytime she saw lauren. she felt abandoned. forgotten. left behind to clean up their mess of a mother. their mess of a life. everytime she saw lauren, she remembered that aching feeling of lying in bed wondering when her sister would come back for her. but she never did. vanessa checked herself out of rehab after only two weeks.the new york scene was the perfect place for self destruction, but it was also where jeanie still resided. vanessa had very little capacity left for dealing with her mother, so she decided not to. she stayed with friends all over the country, even joining a much-older boyfriend abroad for one summer. she had no direction in life, floating aimlessly from one black hole to the next. vanessa began losing time, not remembering much of her early 20s at all. she'd wake up in bed next to people she didn't remember meeting. there was a sadness in her that she could never quite banish. her sister had found success, becoming a doctor and living what seemed like a good life. vanessa didn't think she ever could live a stable life again. she wasn't built for it.at 25, she returned to new york and moved back in with her mother. jeanie's latest attempt at sobriety had quickly failed, and although she had no desire to be around her mother, she also knew that she couldn't keep hemorrhaging money. being with her mother triggered her self destructive tendencies. she started having an affair with one of her mother's friends just to piss her off. that didn't last long.it wasn't long before she met lacey, a club promoter a mutual friend had introduced her to. lacey was slightly older than vanessa, but the two women had an immediate connection. it was hot and passionate. they got high together, they partied together, and they spent days in a drug induced haze, lying in bed in lacey's apartment. for the first time, vanessa wondered if she was in love. she'd never really known love before, so it was hard to tell. a counselor in rehab had told her it was probably due to a lack of affection from her mother at a very young age, but that didn't mean she was incapable. vanessa stayed with lacey for almost a year before telling her she loved her. their relationship felt so monumental, so REAL that for the first time on her own, vanessa considered getting sober.vanessa asked lacey if she would get sober with her, believing that together, they could do it. lacey was hesitant to admit that she had a drug problem, never mind go to rehab. but she loved vanessa, so she agreed to give it a shot. vanessa made it through detox only to find out that lacey didn't. she had abandoned the program after a day and a half. after that, vanessa didn't see much of a point in getting sober.the fourth time she found herself trying to get sober, vanessa had been busted for possession. she was given probation and court mandated rehab. since she was required to be there, vanessa actually decided to give sobriety a shot. she knew lauren wanted her to, and there was a part of her that wanted back what they had. she completed the program and served her two years of probation, mostly sober. as she approached thirty, she decided to tone it down. she believed she outsmarted all of the rehab counselors and psychologists out there. she didn't need to give it up completely, she just couldn't keep operating at that same level.vanessa used her connections from the new york scene to start working as a club promoter. while not the best idea for someone that's supposed to be in recovery, it allows her the best of both worlds. she can pretend she has everything under control while still getting her fill of a little fun and chaos.

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trigger warnings: drug abuse, alcoholism, addiction, neglectFIONA GALLAGHER was birthed by monica gallagher with genetic material from frank gallagher. to call her their daughter, though, would mean monica and frank had to be her parents. anyone who knew the gallaghers knew that was far from true.fiona was the oldest of six kids, and that meant she assumed a mothering role at a very young age. her childhood was pretty non-existent because of it. when most nine year olds were signing up for sports teams or joining the drama club, fiona was dragging her innebriated father in the host to prevent him from freezing to death. monica was always in and out, depending on what drugs she was (or wasn't) on. monica had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder as an adult, but she almost always refused to take her medications. this resulted in some erratic behavior, most of which her children were left to witness.with two drug addicts and alcoholics as parents, fiona was tasked with keeping the family afloat. she made sure the bills were paid and there was food on the table. there was little time for anything else, causing her to have fluctuating grades. it wasn't that she wasn't smart. school wasn't really her priority. and that was okay. the thing she loved most didn't require math or science. fiona loved to run. the adrenaline coursing through her veins as she flew down the track. it was when she felt most alive. free. for a couple of hours each day, she felt like no one could touch her. she had the power.eventually, fiona lost even that small respite to her chaotic family life. monica left the gallaghers when fiona was 16 years old, leaving behind a newborn baby and four other young children. fiona dropped out of a high school. she had no choice. frank surely wasn't going to provide for their family, especially not after monica's departure.fiona went to work after she dropped out, picking up whatever part-time jobs she could to make ends meet. eventually, the other gallagher siblings chipped in what they could. but the majority of the responsibility fell on fiona. she worked, took her kids to the clinic, attended parent-teacher conferences. she was parent, disciplinarian, caretaker. everything her kids needed, she tried to be there for. but she was just a kid herself. of course she fell short. but at the very least, she did the one thing that she deperately needed to. she kept her family together. no matter the cost.

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trigger warnings: eath, abandonment, drug mentioncassandra elaine mitchell, mostly known as cass, was the second child born to kristen mitchell on november 1, 1998. cass’s upbringing was known to be rocky, at best. kristen was a single mother to cass and her older half-sister, penelope. cass and penelope were almost seven years apart in age, but that couldn’t get in the way of their bond.from a young age, penelope felt very protective over cass. part of that was out of necessity. see, kristen wasn’t exactly committed to the whole mother-gig. penelope and cass weren’t ever part of her plan, just byproducts of a couple drunken one-night-stands. kristen often had trouble holding down a job and seemed more invested in finding herself a relationship to dive into. when it came to being a mother, though, she often didn’t even try. she relied on penelope a lot as the girl got older, even leaving the young child in charge for days at a time as kristen went off on another bender or to another party. penelope tried to shield cass from a lot of it, but that wasn’t an easy job.when penelope turned 19, kristen was even more of a mess than usual. she had lost her job completely, their home was about to be repossessed, and the woman just couldn’t handle it all. so, she disappeared. packed up and left, leaving cass under penelope’s care.it was less than ideal for a 19-year-old to now be on her own taking care of a 12-year-old child, but penelope and cass were closer than anything. they knew they could make it work. now that it was just the two of them, they didn’t have to worry about their mother coming in and screwing things up. penelope began working two jobs in town so she and cass could rent a tiny studio. it was tough, but it brought penelope and cass together.with penelope at work so often, cass was suddenly on her own more and more. it was lonely and isolating, so she decided she would find adventure for herself. cass was always an explorer. a wanderer, as penelope would often call her. she liked to dive into unknown territory, discover new things, and jump off high places just to see how it would feel. it drove penelope crazy, but it made cass feel alive.cass always prioritized herself over school. it wasn’t that she wasn’t smart. it was that she hated the idea of being cooped up in a classroom for eight hours every day. she became known for her skills in cutting classes.high school brought more friends into her life. eventually, she found herself apart of a group. a rag-tag group of misfits. kids from different walks of life around their school. no one could really say how it started, some act of fate one night at a local house party. they all had their own social circles, but when they came together, it felt special. cass had never really had family, other than penelope. slowly but surely, the her friend group really started to feel like one. she was their very own sarcastic, jaded, adventurous, lost soul.as high school came to a close, cass had to decide what was next. most of her friends were off to exciting things, but cass didn’t have a plan. neither did penelope. but the older girl was exhausted all of the time, having spent half of her 20s just working to put a roof over their heads. so, the two decided to leave their home town behind and actually see what else the world had to offer. after graduation, they jumped in their car and were off.they spent many years travelling...setting up shop in small towns where they could earn some money, spending nights eating one-dollar cheeseburgers and sleeping in their car. it was far from glamorous. but it was exciting. all they needed was each other. cass would take photos, documenting their journey. they would pick up jobs in retail during the holiday season or waitress at a local eatery for a few months in the summer until they decided to move on. they lived their lives month-to-month. week-to-week. minute-to-minute.eventually, penelope felt like they should think about settling down somewhere. as much as she enjoyed the adventure with her sister, she craved stability. cass didn’t agree. this was the life she liked. nomadic. impermanent. nowhere they could hang around too long and risk getting hurt. they fought about it. weeks went by, and the two still couldn’t agree. hurtful things were said, accusations were made. cass and penelope had finally found the thing between them they just couldn’t settle.one night, cass stormed out of their motel, having had enough of her sister. little did she know, penelope went after her. she drove around all night looking for her sister, but it was no use. penelope was starting to feel tired behind the wheel. she decided to go back to the motel, thinking perhaps cass had returned. on her way back, penelope was drifting, trying like hell to stay awake. she didn’t even realize when she had run the stop sign. then...crash.the police were already at the motel when cass decided to head back. she found them there, lights flashing, waiting. they told her about penelope and the crash. they told her about how her sister, her person, died instantly from the impact. and that day, something inside cass broke. as soon as she could, cass packed up her stuff and left. she was full of anger and resentment. she hated the world, but mostly, she hated herself.cass continued to travel around, now on her own. she spent a lot of time in colorado, working on a horse farm—a sentence she was never meant to say. but she couldn’t let anyone get close to her. she was incredibly lonely. after almost a year of life without penelope, cass felt herself drawn back to civilization. for how long? she didn’t know. but she felt a small push to get on with her life. even if she didn't quite feel like she deserved it.having been on the road for a long time, cass isn’t used to staying put, so she might start to feel a little restless. despite her loss, she still craves adventure and maybe even a bit of recklessness.

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trigger warnings: parent death, otheringdevanshi jones was raised as the eldest child to michael and isha jones. michael and isha had a lovely partnership, and they had initially struggled to conceive a child. then, one day, isha had a feeling. she just knew.michael and isha showered their daughter with love and affection as a small child. isha had a complicated relationship with her own mother, and her main goal as a mother was to make sure her children knew they were loved first and foremost.growing up in sacramento, dev felt different from a lot of the other children and families. her mother was an immigrant for one, and english was not her first language. while most kids were struggling to learn english, dev was trying to master both english and hindi. nothing summed up her existence as a mixed kid so much as her name. devanshi — a hindu name that means divine, and jones — a very white last name.when dev was 9 years old, her parents were surprised to learn that isha was once again pregnant. this time with twin boys. dev wasn’t immediately on board with this news. she had lived 9 years knowing nothing but the three of them. but, her dad told her about the importance of her role as a big sister. it took some more coaching (and light bribery), but dev eventually came around to the idea.isha was about ready to burst later that year. she had desperately been craving peanut butter of all things, and the jones household was sadly out. michael slipped out the next morning to make a run to the grocery store, hoping to have a surprise waiting for isha when she woke up. and he delivered. however, it wasn’t the surprise he had intended. michael collapsed of a heart attack in an aisle of the grocery store that morning. isha went into labor less than 24 hours later, giving birth to micah and kumar.both isha and dev were devastated at the loss of michael, and taking care of two newborns on top of their grief didn’t help. dev stepped up out of necessity, but also, she had something to prove. she desperately wanted to show her dad that she could do it. she could be the big sister he wanted her to be. isha eventually began working multiple jobs to keep them afloat, so dev was tasked with taking on more responsibility. she played a large role in raising her brothers.things often felt difficult. because of this, dev made it her goal to always be upbeat, trying to create unique and fun activities for her brothers as they grew up. and when the boys went to bed, she tried to spread some of that light to her mother, the person she knew needed it most. it was hard to break through the thick veil of grief, but isha appreciated her daughter’s attempts.despite their struggles and difficult financial circumstances, the jones family found a way to maintain normalcy. there was a lot for dev to carry on her shoulders. every so often, her anger or frustration with life would break through. but, she did her best to keep it at bay. instead, she made it a point to find things for herself. things that allowed her to escape for a little bit so she didn’t have to be her brothers’ caretaker or the daughter of the dead guy.dev fell in love with books. their worlds completely enveloped her. it didn’t matter if it was fantasy or mystery or romance. dev was ready to read it all. it definitely helped her in school, as well, though she was always a good student. she was far from popular, and she had been quite introverted for most of her life, but dev managed to find a small group of good and dependable misfits.apprehensive to leave home for college, dev ended up at a state school within driving distance of sacramento. it was important to her she could stay part of her brothers’ lives. she was also too scared to leave her mother. despite all of the time that had passed since her father’s death, it still felt too soon.dev went to college knowing she really only had one goal in life — to open her own business. in her mind, that business had always been a flower shop. all sorts of plants, really. it came as a surprise to most people that her dream wasn’t to open a bookstore. but bookstores were her happy place. she didn’t want them to become her work or her livelihood.isha didn’t understand why her daughter had become so fixated on this idea, and she often tried to redirect her down a different path. but inside, she couldn’t help but think about what michael would be. how he would want to be supportive. how he would probably fly to wherever the store was located on opening day to be dev’s first customer. isha knew how much dev had missed out on and would miss out on in the future. her father was gone, but her dreams weren’t. her daughter was not without hope.so after dev’s college graduation when it was just the two of them, isha told dev that she had to leave. leave to discover her own life and her own path, where she could be responsible for herself instead of their whole family. dev cried and cried that night, not wanting to leave her family but knowing how right her mother was.it took her a few years after that to manage it, but dev finally got her flower shop up and running. she has no idea how she is going to keep it afloat, but hey. she’d been through tougher things.

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eventually i may write an actual bio but here's what we have right now:
- sean peters is a 30 year old business owner. he owns his own diner, a small eatery with a loyal customer base. he uses his business as a way to support people who need second chances. he hires people with felony convictions, people with gaps in their resumes...he doesn't think people should be defined by a bad choice they made.
- when sean was 21-years-old, he unexpectedly left school after finding out his then girlfriend was pregnant. allison didn't even realize she was pregnant until she was well into her second trimester. they had a baby girl, ayla, now 8-years-old. - allison and sean raised ayla together for a while. they maintained a relationship, although it was pretty on again, off again. but they lived together, so even the "off" times didn't really feel like it. but allison was overwhelmed all of the time. when ayla was 3, she started to crack. eventually, she couldn't take it anymore. allison had never been convinced that motherhood was for her. she believed it was better if she left. so she did, leaving sean to raise ayla alone. - sean is all about second chances, sure. but allison is the exception. he can't get over how upset he is with her for just abandoning him and ayla. specifically, ayla.

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trigger warnings: mention of drugs, improv comedyfollowing what was described as a “passionate love affair” between jack dunn and elena vasquez, natalia dunn was conceived. jack dunn, a free-spirit and painter, had just celebrated his 30th birthday. he was spending time in savannah, georgia working as an art preparator at the savannah college of art and design. elena vasquez, who was 26 years old, was an assistant manager at a café trying to make it as a photographer. it was a simple story, really. jack and elena had clicked one evening over a couple of americanos and twice-baked almond croissants. every evening after that, jack would show up around closing time, eager to spend time with elena. the two could discuss art and music and photography for hours. they were never without something to say to each other. however, that changed on hot summer evening, when elena revealed she was unexpectedly pregnant.the news surprised them both, catching them completely off-guard. jack was the first to come around to the idea, making it clear that he would support whatever decision elena wanted to make. but he also wanted her to know that should she decide to have the baby, he had every intention of being an active father. elena’s head was not as clear as jack’s seemed to be. she didn’t know what she wanted. she felt too young to be starting a family. what about her dreams? elena had long-wished to travel the world, making money as a photographer. could she really say goodbye to those dreams just like that?in the end, elena made the decision to move forward with the pregnancy, but as her due date approached, she found herself still agonizing over the decision. the night natalia was born was the first time she realized what she wanted…and it wasn’t to be a mother. it tore her in two coming to that realization. telling jack that she couldn’t be a mother to their newborn baby, just hours after her birth, was the most torturous conversation she had ever initiated. but she knew in her core that it was the right thing. understandably so, it was difficult for jack to hear at first. it wasn’t that it surprised him. a part of him had known that elena wasn’t ready for this. the last trimester had highlighted her hesitations, wary to speak of their future with confidence. his heart did break, though, that his daughter may never know the woman who created her. ultimately, jack respected elena’s decision, expressing what he wholeheartedly believed. it was the most selfless thing she could have done for their child. not selfish. and he would defend her against anyone who would try to say otherwise.jack, on the other hand, was hooked the moment the moment he looked into baby natalia’s eyes—alert and curious to the world she had been born into. following their separation from elena, jack decided the two of them would make the move to california. most of his family had settled there, and they were just as excited as anyone to welcome their new family member into the world. right before jack left, though, he made sure elena knew–the door would always be open.parenting did not come easily to jack, but he was determined to do what he always did. embrace the journey. he saw himself and natalia as partners in crime, always in it together. his sister, nora, was more than happy to help him raise his daughter, and this allowed natalia to spend time with her cousins. nora became a staple in her life growing up, as did the entire dunn family. they all adored natalia, creating a warm and safe place for her to grow up. but it was her relationship with her father that always felt the most special.jack had opened an art studio when natalia had turned three years old. they spent most of their afternoons there. she would finger paint as he taught classes or run around when the studio was empty. he loved having her there while he worked. she sparked a new joy and creativity in him, which translated into his work. he wasn’t the type of parent to worry about his child making a mess or being too much either. a knocked over palette of paint would become an abstract art piece.when natalia was six years old, jack met a woman named helen. she was local, living just outside of berkeley at the time. she had decided to take one of jack’s beginner painting classes on a whim. she was absolutely terrible at it, but determined, which jack found charming. they would grab coffee after his classes and talk about life…what they wanted out of it. she was a bit eccentric, a great match for jack who was the same. he had no choice but to fall head over heels in love. his daughter took a little more convincing to get on board, but as helen started hanging around more, natalia fell in love too. jack and helen married a year later, and helen moved into their home.as natalia entered school, she found for some inexplicable reason that everyone’s instinct (teachers and students alike) was to call her “natalie.” as if the final vowel in her name was just interchangeable. it frustrated her, though confident enough to always correct them when they made the mistake. however, it got tiring. her family had always called her “nat,” so she began introducing herself that way. it stuck, and the population of people who knew her as “natalia” grew smaller and smaller. as she continued to grow up, nat realized that she liked being around people and trying new things. her dad and helen gave her so much freedom to figure out what she liked and who she wanted to be. she went through phases, trying to find her thing. art was always a common thread, inevitably so being raised in the dunn house. nat had learned that her family was considered a little “odd” by the time she entered upper-elementary school. but it didn’t bother her. they were a bit eccentric. so what? it made life interested. and fun. she sometimes had to be the responsible one, yes, and give her household some structure. but for the most part, it was a good life.nothing felt like it was missing, even though she had never known her birth mother. jack never spoke poorly of elena, and he wouldn’t allow anyone else to either. from a very young age, he would explain to nat one thing—in life, people had to make the best decisions that they could, even if they were hard or didn’t always make sense to everyone else. that was what elena had done. she mad a very hard, but necessary, decision for both nat and herself. jack situated her as someone that he greatly admired. and so, nat did too. most kids and teachers expected her to be more emotional about the whole thing. but nat felt she had made her peace with it. secretly, she would pay a little tribute to her birth mother every year on her birthday. she would pick up a twice-baked almond croissant, the same pastry elena and jack had bonded over, at whatever local bakery she could find. and she would think about elena and hope that she had made her peace with it too.nat became a very down to earth individual with a good group of friends and a decent head on her shoulders. jack was constantly teasing her that he didn’t raise her to be so responsible. it came as a complete shock when nat told him she wanted to study BUSINESS in college. his brow would furrow every time she mentioned it, and he would inevitably tell her that college was the time to learn about life, try psychadelics, and minor in something ridiculous, like floral management. nat said he was the only parent to actually be disappointed by their child’s “practical” major. he asked her to promise to at least join an improve comedy troupe (a creative, yet humbling experience) and dye her hair a bright color. she said no, kissed him on the cheek, and enrolled in uc berkeley anyway.the truth was, nat didn’t know what she wanted to do in life, but she was optimistic that she would eventually figure it out. she knew what was expected. that she would become an artist like her father or open a studio. even sketching caricatures on the santa monica pier would have sounded more appealing to her family. but natalia loved art. she saw it as an escape. it was as important to her as it was personal. she wasn’t convinced that she wanted it to be her JOB too.in the meantime, a business degree was likely to be useful wherever she ended up. business school delivered a culture shock nat wasn’t prepared for. half of her classmates were so serious and ambitious, wearing suits more often than she could figure out why. the other half were essentially heavy stoners whose parents probably forced them to be there. she started to skew more type a, at least when it came to school and work. it felt good to have a place where she was organized and could commit to a task. after all, she didn’t have to be exactly like her father or step-mother. she could find her own way of life that worked for her.after graduation, nat’s father set her down and told her she had to go somewhere. anywhere. TRAVEL. see the world. live on a goat farm earning room and board. she rolled her eyes at this, but part of her felt like he was right. she had loved experiencing new places as a kid. so, she moved to nashville with a few friends from college who had landed jobs there. nat would spend the next few years managing a bar for a woman that was way too old to be running it. when the older woman died, the family decided to sell the place, leaving nat unsure of what to do next.

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bullet points until i write something real (if i write something real)

DISCLAIMER: because the conjuring universe is technically based off of real people, i just want to clarify that i see these characters and the series as fictional. i don't know really anything about their real life counterparts, but my interpretation is based on the films and the films alone. i have not taken anything from the real people that as not featured in the movies. this is how i prefer it!

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Margot Moore grew up in Lake Placid, Florida…a very tiny place in the sunshine state. Lake Placid had a population of just about 2,000 people, and Margot felt the smallness of it all ever since she was young.Her parents, Cye and Mai, were good and loving parents to Margot and her little brother, Elias. Both her parents were immigrants to the United States, so they were among the many who worked tirelessly to provide a good and stable life for their children. Her father worked his way up to being a branch manager at a manufacturing company, and her mother worked at a bank. All in all, her life could be described as pretty normal.However, growing up in Lake Placid wasn’t always a walk in the park. Lake Placid was a largely white town, and because it was small, everybody knew everybody. Which meant people talked. You never wanted to be on the wrong side of that talk. As she got older, Margot started to see that she looked different from a lot of her classmates. Her classmates noticed it too.TW RACISM, MICROAGGRESSIONS
She began to experience racism and microaggressions at the hands of people who were her friends. A lot of it was unconscious, but there was a definite bias. Margot’s parents knew it too, but they didn’t want to rock the boat. They encouraged Margot to ignore it. To try and blend in as much as possible. So, that’s what Margot learned to do. She tried her best to just blend in with it all. She didn’t talk much about her family’s culture or traditions. She tried to make herself look more like her friends, even dying her hair blonde for a period of time to try and make herself into the ideal standard of beauty.TW MENTAL ILLNESS, MENTAL HEALTH, BIPOLAR DISORDER
During this time, Margot also began to struggle with other things. Her mood swings were unpredictable. She experienced racing thoughts and an inability to focus. She started sleeping less and making some risky decisions. At first, Margot didn’t want to get help. She didn’t see a need. But when she started to fall back into a depressive episode during her junior year of high school, her parents said enough was enough.Margot started going to regular therapy appointments and met with a number of psychologists. She was diagnosed with a milder form of bipolar affective disorder, and she has been on medications ever since.Margot has done extremely well keeping up with therapy and her medications. Therapy is the one thing she’ll never reschedule. Not even for work. Old habits die hard for Margot, though. It’s hard for her to talk about her mental illness because in her mind, this is just another thing that separates her from everyone else. And remember what her parents always said: assimilate.Margot went on to college, and she had a strong desire to get herself out of Lake Placid. She decided to study business at the advise of her dad at the University of Central Florida, but it wasn’t something she was exactly passionate about. It was a thing to do while she enjoyed her college years. She wasn’t BAD at it, she just didn’t give as much effort as she probably should have.Out of college, Margot had little money of her own, but she was determined not to go back to Lake Placid to live with her parents. She started temping at an agency, and she would get moved around from business to business, mostly doing administrative work or bookkeeping. It wasn’t overly exciting, but it gave her some money to live off. Plus, Margot lived off of learning about each place she worked at…all of the office gossip and drama.Somewhere in her post-grad life, Margot met Holden. Holden was, in fact, an idiot who probably had a (TW GAMBLING ADDICTION, ADDICTION) gambling problem that Margot funds. Margot and Holden just kind of ended up together. It wasn’t that they were madly in love. They just kind of…stuck. Margot was the one who pretty much kept them alive. She for some reason has a soft spot for the dumb ones…it was the only thing that kept her from kicking him to the curb through the years. Their relationship isn’t solid, or even necessarily exclusive…it just kind of exists. And no one understands it.When she was about 24 years old, Margot started temping at a law practice in Florida. Margot started actually liking her job. Of course, it was a temp job, so she had to work her magic. Sure enough, she was eventually able to persuade the head of the practice into taking her on as an assistant.She's risen up ever since, becoming an executive assistant (which she named herself) to the name partners.Margot didn’t exactly break up with Holden before she left Florida, and by the sounds of his texts, he may still think they’re still together. She’s just kind of letting that BE for the time being. After all, they’ve been together for so long.

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